To overcome abandonment, you must reclaim your power and take complete ownership of yourself. Your focus needs to shift from avoiding abandonment to building a strong self. Recovery is a process of letting go of feeling like a victim and accepting the belief that you are a powerful person.
1. You Attach Too Quickly
As soon as you meet someone, you go from the first date to “in a relationship” in the blink of an eye. You believe that if you don’t do this, you risk them dating someone else they like more. You don’t want them to be “the one that got away.” But you don’t give yourself the time and mental space needed to assess how the relationship is going. You don’t ask whether this person is someone you could spend the rest of your life with.
2. Childhood neglect
Most of these issues develop when a person suffers from neglect as a child. The absence of care and affection reinforces the low self-esteem in the person. If you don’t get the attention you need as a child, issues with abandonment can arise.
3. You’re A Partner Pleaser
You aim to please people at every opportunity including in your relationships. The result is weak personal boundaries and a willingness to go along with whatever your partner wants. You put your well-being second to theirs. You fear that if you don’t fulfill their desires, they will look elsewhere. This will eventually lead to conflict when you begin to resent having to do all these things.
Getting rejected by a loved one or rejection of romantic advances can also spur abandonment issues. The person feels unworthy of being loved and tends to overanalyze the reasons for the dismissal.
5. You Stay In / Settle For Unhealthy Relationships
Rather than being alone, you are willing to remain in a situation that you know deep down isn’t good for you. Perhaps you realize that the match isn’t as good as you first thought. Or maybe your partner lies, cheats, or is abusive in some way. somehow these things aren’t always enough for you to call it quits.
6. Quickly moving on after a relationship
You just had a breakup recently, and instead of allowing yourself time, you move on to seek a new partner. It could mean that you are shielding yourself from the pain and hurt of the breakup by jumping into something ‘new and exciting. Though appealing for the short term, this pattern is profoundly unhealthy in the long run because you don’t give yourself enough time to heal before jumping into a new relationship.
7. You Feel Unworthy Of Love
The thing that holds you back from being emotionally intimate with somebody is a deep-seated sense of unworthiness. You just can’t see how anybody could possibly love you, so you never let anyone say those three special words to you. If they should ever cross a partner’s lips, your response will be a quick and decisive “you don’t love me” and that will be that.
8. Jealousy and possessiveness
When you doubt that you are unworthy of your partner, you see the people around them with suspicion. This makes it difficult for you to trust your partner. You become jealous of the people close to them, especially if you are of the opposite sex.
9. Repressing anger
Fear of abandonment can make you suppress your anger and frustrations over small things that can accumulate over time. You feel if you let your dissatisfaction known to your partner, he or she will leave you. This leads to the buildup of resentment over the years making your relationship toxic.
10. Difficulty in trusting the partner
Because your over-active imagination is continuously coming up with images of your partner leaving you or cheating on you, you find it difficult to believe them. Trusting them would make you feel vulnerable to hurt, and that is something you want to avoid. This constant suspicion and lack of trust erode the basis of your relationship.